Let's just start out with a rule of thumb: Spaniards don't get Southern American English.
In most conversations, if a Spaniard doesn't understand just one word, it doesn't matter how incredible the rest of the sentence was, they ignore the rest.
Things that Southerners say will make a Spaniard look like a deer in headlights.
The same thing probably happens with South Africans, Australians, the Scottish, and the Irish, or basically anybody that doesn't talk like a BBC reporter on Xanax.
One single word can throw them off the bull.
Ex. Grunted "T"s and "Ds" (Glottal Stop, in the International Phonetic Alphabet)
- The Appalachian Mountains, prounounced "apal-LA-chen MAun-ns"
- Also: fountain, Hillary Clinton, iron curtain, maintenance,
- Manhattan. Pronounced "man-HA-n"
- Also: certain, Britain, Latin
- Garden, pronounced "GAR-dn"
- Also: Michael Jordan, Osama Bin Laden, pardon, Gordon Brown
Ex. Absent "T"s
- Internet, pronounced "INr-net"
- Also: center, winter, gentlemen, twenty, mental, Santa Claus
- Everybody knows that Americans pronounce "twenty" differently.
That rule applies to a lot of other words, too.
If you're American and you "correct" your way of speaking by changing these sounds back to "T"s and "D"S, it's either because you're talking to a foreigner or because you're trying to sound intelligent because of your inferiority complex.
If you're a Spaniard and you don't believe me, go on YouTube right now and listen to any American talk or just look up any of these words on Dictionary.com and click on the little audio symbol so that you can hear it pronounced.
For people that grew up in the South, you know that you have to have two registers, two ways of talking. There's the way that you talk at home and then the way you learn to talk in school.
At school, you conjugate. (He doesn't know me.)
At home, you don't. (He don't know me.)
At school, double negatives are bad. (No, mother, we don't have any more okra.)
At home, double negatives are our friend. (Momma, we ain't got no mo' okra.)
I get a kick out of how Spaniards pronounce the names of states:
- South Carolina: "SAuz CArolain". Yes, it has an "A" at the end.
- Tennessee. "TE-nesi" Actually, the stress goes on the last syllable
- Arkansas: "ar-KAN-sas". Here, the stress goes on the first syllable and the final "s" is
silent.
"Country": "CAun-tri". Spaniards take the rule for pronouncing "downtown" and apply it to "country" and "young".
All picky little things aside, there are some social behaviors that I also find... curious.
You're in a disco in Madrid.
The music is loud.
Everybody is hammered.
Your friend that you came with introduces you to his friend, a Spaniard.
Music: HEEEEYYYYY SEXY LADY
Friend: MEET MY FRIEND, JOSE, JOSE, ÉL ES RYAN, ES AMERICANO
Jose: IS OK, WE CAN ESPIK IN INGLIS. I LAIK TU PRACTIIIS MAI INGLIS IN THE DISCO
(Then, Jose spends thirty minutes shouting incomprehensible babble into your eardrum about the summers he spent in England with his Spanish friends.)
Thanks, Jose, now I'm deaf and bored.
You: I'm gonna go get another 15 euro Jack and Coke.
Then, as if you're not in the room, Spaniards will tell you to your face that American English isn't "correct".
Apart from the studies that I've read saying that British English has actually changed more than its colonial counterpart since the Revolution, that's rude.
The funny thing is that most of the people that say that couldn't pick an American accent out of a lineup anyhow.
Finally, you talk to someone that has half a clue about speaking the language, and they ask you:
Are you from Texas?Thanks, Jose, now I'm deaf and bored.
You: I'm gonna go get another 15 euro Jack and Coke.
Then, as if you're not in the room, Spaniards will tell you to your face that American English isn't "correct".
Apart from the studies that I've read saying that British English has actually changed more than its colonial counterpart since the Revolution, that's rude.
The funny thing is that most of the people that say that couldn't pick an American accent out of a lineup anyhow.
Finally, you talk to someone that has half a clue about speaking the language, and they ask you:
After putting up with this crap for a good long time now, I've resorted to getting my own laughs out of people.
Lots of people see me at work and want to use me to get a quick laugh.
I resent this because, much like other human beings, I don't being singled out and made to feel different, freakish and ridiculous.
Co-worker: "JE-lou JAU-ar-iu! ¡Mira que de puta madre hablo el inglis! ¿Eh? ¿A que
piloto?"
Me: "Hey! Zipptiy doo-dah, ass hat!"
Co-worker: "¿Ein? Eh, ¡Venga! ¡'Ta luego!"
