Encounter with the Guardia Civil

I'm usually (suelo ser) a good boy. I try to follow (respetar) the rules, obey laws, be nice (amable), look good and smell decent. 

But a while back (hace un tiempo), I broke (incumplí) a law without even (ni siquiera) knowing it. 

Let's start with the back story (antecedentes). 

I used to (solía) fish a good bit (bastante) in the US. I also used to smoke. The problem is that when you fish, you have one hand holding (sujetando) the rod (caña) and one hand cranking (girando) the reel (carrete), and I didn't like holding the cigarette in my mouth because the smoke got in my eyes. So, I chewing (mascar) tobacco was a good solution.  

That was around 2004 or so. Fast forward to 2009. I started fly fishing in the mountains around Ávila and I was talking about this same thing to my Dad. He sent me a care package (paquete especial por correo al extranjero): a 6" x 10" x 10" box with about 10 packs of Red Man loose leaf chewing tobacco. 


I didn't know where to keep (guardar) it, so I put the box in the kitchen. 
The next morning, I was on the way (de camino) out the door when I saw the box and I decided to get a bag out to chew some on the way to work. 

A good friend of mine once told me that good stories always start with "So, there I was...." 

So there I was, chewing tobacco at 7:30 in the morning on the highway on the way to work in Madrid, spitting into an empty coffee cup, when the Guardia Civil (Spanish version of the State Troopers) stop beside me at a red light. 



You know that feeling when you just KNOW somebody's watching you? Well, I started looking around and I saw that there were two officers staring (mirando fijamente) at me. Hard. I think they were puzzled (perplejos) at why I was spitting (escupiendo) into the cup instead (en lugar) of drinking out of it. 

Then, the light turned green (se puso en verde) and I started driving. Well, the officers pulled me over (me detuvieron). I stopped. One got out of the car, and judging by his accent, he was obviously Andalú. 

Agente:       Buenoh díah
Me:              Buenos días, señor agente. 
Agente:       You can't drink coffee while you're driving. 
Me:              I'm sorry, sir, but I'm not drinking coffee. 
Agente:       I know you're drinking coffee. 
                    I saw the cup. 
                    You can't drink anything while you're driving because it's a distraction. 
Me:             I understand that, but I swear I wasn't drinking coffee. 
                    I was chewing tobacco. 
                   I'm American. 
                   Can't you hear my accent? 
                   Have you ever seen a cowboy movie? 
                    Look. 
                   (I showed him the coffee cup complete with an inch of tobacco spit in it)
Agente:      Por Dios.... (Dear God....)
                   OK, look, you can't hold anything in your hands other than the wheel while you're                            driving. 
                   Go on. 
                   Adios

You should've seen the look on his face. 
I would've paid money to hear what he had to say when he got back to the station.