A Little Knowledge Can Be a Dangerous Thing

I have a theory about some English words wrongly used in Spanish. 

I think what happens is that a Spaniard goes to study in an English-speaking country just long enough to get a taste of immersion, but just short enough to still sound.... weird, awkard, and out of place... like a wax museum statue. 


(For those of you not familiar with this person, it's supposed to be Rafael Nadal.) 



This person probably spent a semester or less in Nowheresville, Missouri. 
Because among the older generation, their parents, there exists the persistent maxim that "la única manera de aprender bien un idioma es perderse en Inglaterra o por ahí y tener que espabilar." (The only way to learn a language right is to get lost in England or wherever because you have no other choice but to learn) 

Butchered English Expression Used in Spanish	Real Meaning in English	Real Anglophone Expression
Zapping	To electrocute, shoot or cook	to flick channels
Friki	extrañísimo, deformado	geek
Tuning	sincronizar	customizing
Fashion	moda	fashionable
Hall	pasillo	foyer
Web	red	website
Brackets	soporte (de construcción)	braces

They bring back with them words that they've heard natives use and get a reaction from a crowd, like a laugh, or shock, or wow, and they either can't remember them just right or they never learned them right in the first place. 

I think I can imagine how these people infer the meanings of these colloquial expressions from context the wrong way. 

We're in Coach Johnson's 11th grade chemistry class with Asher the jock, Skyler the cheerleader, George the geek and Pilar the Spaniard. 
In walks George the geek with a Lord of the Rings tee shirt, featuring Legolas the Elf. 

ASHER THE JOCK:                          - Dude! Check out the brainy kid's t-shirt! 
SKYLER THE CHEERLEADER      - OH. MY. GOD. You are such a FREAK!
GEORGE THE GEEK:                      - You guys are stupid. Go drink a protein shake and leave 
                                                               me alone. 
PILAR THE SPANIARD:                 - I AM AGREE! YOU ARE A FRIKI! (Esto de friki debe                  
                                                            significar algo insultante ... cuando vuelva a Pozuelo, lo 
                                                            voy a usar a tope como si supiera lo que es.) 
ASHER THE JOCK:                         - I knew I forgot something this morning! My protein shake! 
                                                               I'm calling my mom right now. 
COACH JOHNSON:                        - Alright, leave the smart kid alone. He helps me clean up the 
                                                              lab in the afternoon. OK, so we were talking about ionic 
                                                              bonds or whatever the school wants me to teach as an 
                                                             excuse to coach football... 

These people say the following things to show off about their profound immersion experience: 
- No, es que esta palabra no existe en español. (The thing is that word just doesn't exist in 
    Spanish). (Lie. You just don't know how to translate it.) 
- Jo, es que llevo tanto tiempo pensando en inglés que a veces es lo primero que me sale. 
   (Man... I've been thinking in English for so long that it's the first thing that pops out.)  
   (Lie. You were there from August to December and spent the whole time with a group of        
     Venezuelan kids smoking pot.) 

This sounds really impressive to people that have never travelled, so it catches on, and people say: 

"Claro que se dice así... me lo dijo Borja y él estuvo en Estados Unidos mogollón de tiempo en un pueblo perdido de la mano de Dios, o sea que tiene que ser verdad."

"Of course that's the way you say it... Borja told me that and he went to this town in the boon docks in the US for a really long time, so it's gotta be true".

Other English words that Spaniards use all the time that just get on my nerves: 
- Drinking
- Spinning 
- Jetlag
- Freelance

As so many supporters of the RAE (Real Academia Española) say, why use a foreign word when there is already a perfectly good word in your own language? 
And moreover, why use the wrong foreign word to express yourself when you could use the right word in your own language? 
The answer: because it sounds so cool.